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SLUT! GROWING UP FEMALE WITH A BAD REPUTATION - episode 2-22
Yesterday afternoon, rap star “Kid Rock” came to Much Music. As I watched his rehearsal, I caught wind of some of the lyrics that have obviously contributed to his success. He sang about (and I paraphrase), “fucking some ho’s” and I know he has another popular song called, “Blow Me”. Now I’m perfectly willing to endorse his freedom of speech and I’ll concede to the fact that perhaps I’m missing something very important he is doing for the world of music. My gripe with him exists only insofar as this: what exactly are messages that boys and girls are learning about what it means to be a man or a woman? I do not mean to single out Kid Rock as someone who is corrupting the minds of today’s youth. I think the Backstreet Boys, Britany Spears and many other pop stars are just as potentially dangerous. Now let me clarify - these artists are only dangerous if no one talks about the messages they may be sending out. Whether teens are hearing the lovelorn lyrics of some popular “boy band” or the misogynistic antics of a rap hero - let’s face it - both girls and boys are getting very skewed messages about relationships. What I learned from talking to teens is that many just aren’t equipped with the sensibility to look at these ‘artists’ as entertainment. The truth is, pop stars are often the heroes of young people - and many want to look like them, think like them and speak like them. And what are most of these pop stars saying: girls should look sexy but not have sex and boys should have as much sex as possible but not with other boys. Out of these ideas about gender, the derogatory names “slut” and “fag” have been born. This story focused on the name “slut” and it’s effect on teens. The effects on those who are labeled sluts should be a concern to everyone. Young girls who are called “slut”, often go one of two ways: they embody the characteristics they are being accused of or they shut down their sexuality completely. One of the saddest things Leora Tanenbaum discovered in her book, is that many of the girls who are labeled ‘slut’ have histories of sexual abuse. When they get slapped with this label (perhaps because they confided in a friend) they get the message that they somehow ‘asked for it’. We keep hearing the argument again and again, that many parents don’t want their kids learning about sexuality in their schools. The fact remains that less than 30% of parents are talking to their children about sexuality. Kids are sexual and will learn about sex whether people talk to them about it or not. Kids are inundated with sexual images, messages and words. But without an open dialogue about their feelings - young girls continue to have their sense of sexuality created for them. Cynthia Loyst
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