Last spring, I decided to stop taking the Pill after being on it for nearly seven years. At the time, I thought very little about the decision. About a month after stopping usage, I got my period. However, the following month….there was nothing. Then the next month…I received a weak, pathetic excuse for a period. The next…nothing. And so it went for the next seven months. I began to panic. "What if my body has forgotten how to release my eggs?", I thought. As I worried about whether or not I would ever have a 'normal' cycle again, my doctor assured me that this was 'normal' and I should enjoy my period's absence while it lasts.

Wait a minute, I thought. I was actually kind of looking forward to letting my body get back into its normal groove. To feel the ups and downs of my cycle and have a real period - something I had not had in those seven years. It's not like periods are a walk in the park but there must be something good about menstruation….hello, anyone????

I think this was the first time since I began menstruating that I actually thought about menstruation. As I spoke with other women about my situation, I began to understand the strange climate surrounding menstruation. One woman I spoke with told me that she would give anything to rid herself of this "monthly anguish". Another woman told me that when she got her period, her grandmother slapped her across the face. Yet another told me that she was so embarrassed when she first began menstruating that she threw away her "period" underwear every month for years. I was astonished at the amount of shame and ignorance surrounding this biological occurrence. Almost every woman on earth has bled - how come we don't talk about it?

I began to understand the conflicting messages that women receive from a very early age about their bodies - from sex ed classes, advertisements, family and media. The ways in which girls learn about menstruation, seems to parallel the ways in which girls learn about sexuality in general - they are taught to feel shameful about it, to hide it, to plug it up. I realized that it is within this shame and secrecy, that pharmaceutical and feminine hygiene industries are given license to come in and provide products to play into this shame.

My research led me to a new book called, "Is Menstruation Obsolete?". This book outlines the ways in which women can rid themselves of this "monthly anguish" with the help of oral contraceptives. I wondered: how can anyone could possibly know the long term health effects of a lifetime of being on hormones? Are we so ashamed of this biological event that we are willing to gobble up anything that comes our way in order to rid ourselves of it?

I truly hope not.

It's been 9 months since I went off the Pill - and I'm still not on a regular cycle. I know you may find this hard to believe, but I miss my period.

Cynthia Loyst
Segment Producer, SEXTV