In documenting the diversity of sexual expression each week SexTV also ends up documenting the "rules" of sex and sexuality. We're all raised with some rules about what "real" sex is, or the proper way to be sexual. Maybe we're told that sex is only something between a man and a woman, or that it's only for the young, or the pretty, or skinny people, etc… Call it the Baywatch guide to sex.

Now the problem is that when you start to compare yourself against the rules you realize that you don't measure up, that in fact none of us really fit all these rules (and therefore none of us are having "real sex"). But as long as we kind of look the part we can pretend. And that's what so many people do. Because we don't know there are alternatives we go through life experiencing our sexuality as it's handed to us. In doing so we miss out on so much creativity, and so many possibilities open to us as sexual beings.

While living with a disability in our disability-phobic culture is, to be sure, hard work, there are also opportunities that non-disabled people usually miss out on. One such opportunity is to be sexual on your own terms. For when you are disabled, society tells you clearly that you don't fit the rules, that you can't be sexual at all. Unfortunately a lot of people start believing this. After a lifetime of being treated as asexual it's hard not to listen.

The good news is that things are changing (slowly, but there is change). People with disabilities in North America are fighting for their basic rights just as women and people of colour fought for basic civil rights in the 60's and 70's. And a small group of people like Mitch Tepper are focusing their political activism on sexuality, fighting for the right to be sexual on their own terms.

I have been a fan of Mitch's work for a long time. I think the thing I appreciate most about his work and his site www.sexualhealth.com is that in fighting for the right to be sexual for himself he ends up fighting for all of us. As Mitch says, any of us could be sitting in his chair, and whether we are talking about a literal wheelchair or any of the other life circumstances that sometimes conspire to keep us down, when it comes to sex we can all use a little consciousness raising and we can all use a reminder that being sexual is a right we all have, and choosing how we want to be sexual is the most important expression of that right.

Cynthia Loyst
Segment Producer, SEXTV